Broken: The human addiction to sexual desire
The past couple months have been smothered with the story of Tiger Woods and his acts of unfaithfulness. It’s a tale that’s become all too familiar, and the media couldn’t have been more gleeful about it. Athlete-whom-the-sports-world-revolves-around, super model, sex, recorded phone messages uploaded to the ‘Net for all to hear, etc. It’s a circus, and cheap entertainment for most (as I write this, I overheard Jimmy Fallon on the tube say “A recent poll indicated that 22% of Americans would forgive Tiger Woods. Which is interesting, as 22% of Americans have slept with Tiger Woods.”) Sadly, it’s not an unfamiliar story, as much of the same is being played out in marriages and families across the country…and then the term “sexual addiction” reared its unfamiliar head.
What is sexual addiction?
If your reaction was at all like mine when you first heard the term, there was eye-rolling and head-shaking. It seemed a bit silly to even say the phrase with a straight face. Upon further review, however, I found that sex addiction apparently ranks right up there with gambling compulsion or alcoholism. The Mayo Clinic estimates that 3 to 6 percent of adults in our U.S. of A are affected, with 20-25% of those being female. So “sexual addiction” isn’t just another lame creation of professional excuse makers? Like other addictions, it’s about devoting your free time to a behavior that you cannot stop, even if you damage relationships or prompt other negative consequences. According to the PsychiatricTimes website, sexual addiction is defined as:
A condition in which some form of sexual behavior is employed in a pattern that is characterized by two key features: 1) recurrent failure to control the sexual behavior, and 2) continuation of the sexual behavior despite significant harmful consequences. Consequently, sexual addiction is a syndrome in which some form of sexual behavior relates to and affects an individual’s life in such a manner as to accord with the simple definition of addiction or to meet the diagnostic criteria for addictive disorder.
How did humanity get here?
CNN.com had a great quote from someone with knowledge weighing in on how this all came to be:
“We’re seeing it with epidemic proportions now, particularly with regards to cybersex,” said Mark Schwartz, psychologist and former director of the Masters and Johnson Institute in St. Louis, Missouri. “There isn’t a week that goes by where I don’t get two calls” about sex addiction.
I couldn’t agree more with the “epidemic” choice of word. I believe with all my heart that the prevalence of online porn is one of Satan’s most successful ploys for destroying marriages, shattering the character of men, and shaming souls into a shell of their former selves…at a time when their wives, children, and country need a Godly man the most. Consider these staggering stats, though outdated (taken from 2006…if you find more recent ones, please shoot me a link):
- every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.
- Every second 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography.
- In that same second 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines.
- Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created in the U.S.
- It’s big business. The pornography industry has larger revenues than Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple and Netflix combined.
- 2006 Worldwide Pornography Revenues ballooned to $97.06 billion.
Christians are immune to the temptations of pornography!
Hmmmm. OK, maybe not immune, but certainly faaaar less affected, right? What if I told you that—and numbers on these types of polls are low, if anything:
- 50% of men viewed pornography within one week of attending a Promise Keepers stadium event.
- 54% of pastors said they viewed porn within the past year in a Pastors.com survey.
- In a 2003 Focus on the Family poll, 47% of respondents said porn is a problem in their home.
Ted Roberts, a pastor who’s ministered to many caught in the bondage of sexual addiction recounts the following story in his book Pure Desire
“I was speaking in the Bible Belt not too long ago. When I asked the gracious pastor what he wanted me to share about during the weekend service, he said, “just tell them about the great work God is doing at your church.” I said, “I would love to do that, but I will end up talking about real life – about the bondage, addiction and trauma that so many people are struggling with today. And I will challenge them to open up these areas of their lives to God so He can heal them and set them free.” The expression on his face changed a bit and he commented, “Well, I don’t think we have a lot of folks dealing with the depth of issues that you’re talking about. This isn’t just the Bible belt part of the country. We call it the buckle of the Bible Belt.” But that pastor gave me the green light, so I didn’t pull any punches. Then, at the end of the service, I gave an altar call for people struggling with sexual issues. No one moved at first. Then the dam broke, and they lined up three to four deep at the altar…”
The call to action
The following excerpt is from an open letter Chuck Swindoll posted on his Insight for Living Website not long ago:
“The most recent studies available suggest that one out of every two people-that’s 50 percent of the people sitting in our pews, are looking at and/or could be addicted to Internet pornography… Truth be told, that statistic could be even higher…Stop and imagine the ugly but very real possibility of some of your own elders and deacons leaving your meetings and going home to surf porn. Think about youth leaders viewing it one minute, and leading a small group with your kids thirty minutes later. It’s ruining marriages, destroying relationships, harming youth, and hurting the body of Christ. You hardly need to be reminded that fallen pastors and priests did not “suddenly” fall. More often than not, pornography played a role in their downward spiral. My friend, it’s time to do something about it. In fact, we need to start today. Making a difference requires action…Our churches are in trouble. This is no time to simply wait and pray.”
Are you a porn addict? Start here…
Be honest with yourself. Most of you reading this article (if the stats are correct) are, have, or will struggle with an addiction to pornography. Here’s a great article from Focus on the Family that shares an amazing story. Please take the time to read it, and commit to a plan of action. If Satan has created a foothold in your life, only the power and grace of Christ can restore you. Invite Him in.
